Gripes Of A Transsexual Woman

And oh there are many! I figured I’d take the time to write a little side-note entry, deviating just a bit from the sequential “story of my life” format I’ve decided to use for this blog. I honestly just started searching for other tg or ts blogs on wordpress and found that many of them, although well-written and informative, sounded either a bit too activist-y or too pedantic. I still think there are great resources out there for activists and people researching trans-issues from a more intellectual point of view, but I want this blog to sound and feel saltier and more approachable…instead of like a prickly activist or an erudite, yet somewhat icy clinician. I think there is an activist within each of us, and I also think there is an educator within each of us…the very act of falling under the transgender umbrella necessitates it at varying times within our lives. When deprived of basic rights, the inner activist comes out…when probed about our journey, the scientist comes out explaining the whole thing in detail with an air of exasperation.

Despite considering how multi-faceted we, as members of this loosely-knit community can be, I can’t help but feel we sometimes try too hard to cling to these archetypes and lose that approachable part of ourselves. Honestly, it pisses me off when someone asks me a question about my genitals because it’s none of their business…I don’t walk up to Sally on the street and say, “Hey Sally…you have a vagina, right? How’s that treating you? Where do you put it?” And yeah I do wish I could calmly and eloquently defeat any argument against trans-issues soundly and fully….but, isn’t it okay to be a little selfish and just enjoy the lives we’ve tried so hard to craft to our own true feelings? Life is a battle…and a lesson, but it’s also an experience. One of the biggest gripes I have is the inaccessibility of most other trans-people because they fall into one of those two modes full-time. Many others are fearful of being exposed or targetted, which is understandable, but the veil of anonymity that the internet provides can be a great comfort and its open forums can be a wonderful coping/venting tool. So if you’re trans and feeling frustrated because you feel like you’re the only transsexual in the greater northeast who isn’t picketing or debating, I encourage you to use the internet to vent and connect with others about whatever. It certainly makes me feel better 🙂

Oh, and one last thing that just popped into my head…is anyone else bothered about how overtly-kinky a lot of trans people tend to be? I mean, sex is great and everything…but I’ve found that many of the other transwomen I’ve encountered in my journey have either not been authentically transsexual and have been transvestites who enjoy dressing up because that’s how they get their kicks or whatever or have been COMPLETELY sex-obsessed…like it’s all they talk about. Sorry, but that’s gross no matter who you identify as. I think a lot of our community members and those who mistakenly believe they are part of the community try to create this highly sexually charged aura which I find completely repelling because they think it makes them more approachable when really it just makes you look skanky. That, along with the aforementioned reasons are why I think it’s so difficult to establish any rapport with many of the other members of our community, and I really wish that weren’t the case :/ This is all just my opinion, of course, but how do we expect to be treated with any class if we don’t display any? Think about it! And that’s a lesson for all you cisgendered hoochies too…you’re just embarassing yourself…so quit it!

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About ladyinwaitingblog

A transgendered woman on a continuing journey of self-acceptance and self-discovery.

Posted on May 20, 2011, in Random Trans-Rant and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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