Trans-titty attacks and how to deal with them…

My what a title! Yes…it’s true. We all have what I like to refer to as “titty attacks” from time to time, which are basically just hissy fits with a catchier name. Being a trans-woman, though, these attacks tend to occur more frequently as our female hormones, which we have to take for life, mean we’re basically in a state of perpetual PMS. Sucks, but what’re you gonna do? As such, I wanted to write a little something about this topic, because it effects many different people. First and foremost, it effects us trans-women because we’re the ones dealing with the constant mood swings and fits of histrionics, and secondly, it effects the people close to us, because it can be grating having to deal with such emotional roller-coasters. So if you find yourself in one of the aforementioned pools of people, then pay attention because I’m going to give you some tips on how to deal.

Tip 1 – Calm it down girl!
OMFG, this jerky guy I met on the internet just totally blew me off, I’m almost out of hormones for the month, my brow-ridge is RIDICULOUS to work with and they’re discontinuing my favorite opaque foundation! We’ve all been there. Step 1, calm it down. It’s not that serious, despite what you may think, or what your hormones may make you think. Breathe full, deep, cleansing breaths. In through the nose, letting your stomach fill up with air, and then out through the mouth releasing the air and pulling your stomach in. Self-talk is one of my favorite ways to calm down and no one even has to know you’re doing it. Mentally talk to yourself about things that make you happy like a favorite book, Starbucks or even hardcore sex. This will counter the dark storm clouds hovering over you with a rainbow of positivity and distract you enough to allow yourself to calm down.

Tip 2 – Take it from where it’s coming from
So, imagine this, someone just blurted out something totally insensitive about you or worse you got READ and you just can’t take it. You’re having an attack! A titty attack! The first thing you need to do is calm the f*** down. People say nasty things all the time, it’s in their nature. But whatever anyone else thinks of you is within them, it’s their own issue…not yours, you have more important things to consider. Don’t waste your time. Being read can be devastating to any trans-person’s self-esteem. Here you have two distinct approaches to dealing with this. One, try to think of it as a learning experience. What can I do in the future to not be read? Two, don’t give a flying F*CK! So they know? Who cares. I’m proud of myself and what I’m doing and if he/she/they aren’t, then f*ck ’em.

Tip 3 – Always monitor your hormones!
Always, always, always have a doctor check your levels at least once a year, just to make sure everything’s alright. You don’t want to over-do it with these things. Frequent break-downs may be a sign that you’re taking too much and need to ease it on down. I took my starting dosage for three years, only to find that by the end of my third year, according to my estrogen levels, I was at twice the normal level for a biological female. No wonder I was completely insane! It was like having a soon-to-be-mom and a bratty tween on her first period battling it out inside of me over an eclair. Never ignore what your body tells you.

Tip 4 – Take a moment to think
Estrogen can make us impulsive. This can be a not-so-good thing. Make sure you always think before you say or do anything when you’re in titty attack mode. You can turn into a really malicious bitch when your emotions are in a tizzy and you don’t want to say or do something that you’ll regret after you’ve calmed down. I still struggle with this fairly regularly and need to remind myself what’s appropriate to be spoken about, when and with whom and what’s better left unsaid altogether.

Tip 5 – Remind your circle
It’s not an excuse, but remind your circle of friends/lovers/foreign exchange students that you are going through some very serious changes and that these changes effect your emotions tremendously. Most ts people have some sort of underlying emotional vulnerabilities (usually insecurity or lack of self-esteem) and these things are magnified ten-fold by hormones. But…we need them to achieve our goals and they need to understand this. Explaining it may make it easier for people around you to deal with your mood-swings and hysterics. Or it might not…in which case you employ…

Tip 6 – Cutting your losses
Some people just won’t understand, won’t be tolerant or just won’t want to stick around and deal with your drama. Honestly, that’s their right. But if they’re that quick to eject you from their lives, then they simply aren’t worth latching on to, so whack ’em like weeds! Identify who is just frustrated for the moment and who really has no patience for you whatsoever and get rid of the latter category. Patience is a virtue in most cases, but in our situation, it’s a necessity in both ourselves and in the people we hold dear.

So there you have it…as always, visualization is a magical thing…so if you’re really flipping out, just visualize it being over and MAKE IT HAPPEN!! But remember, you’re trying your best in this battle, and for the most part, you’re going it solo…so be proud of that and try not to be overwhelmed by it all. Just do your best 🙂

Advertisements

About ladyinwaitingblog

A transgendered woman on a continuing journey of self-acceptance and self-discovery.

Posted on June 30, 2011, in Random Trans-Topic and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: